


Proud

by starlightwalking



Series: the world as we know it [12]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (in the past), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Caedsexual Maedhros, Celebrations, Celebratory Sex, Emotional breakthroughs, Father-Son Relationship, Good Dad Fëanor, Graduation, Healing, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Praise Kink, Self-Love, Tender Sex, Trans Fingon, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Sex, supportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Maedhros has a lot to be proud of, and he’s finally coming to realize that.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Fëanor | Curufinwë & Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: the world as we know it [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651942
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34
Collections: Anna's Trans Anthology





	Proud

**Author's Note:**

> I got very emo while writing this ;-; I just love Maedhros a lot okay???

Maedhros stared at the diploma in his hands, barely believing it was real. Fingon couldn’t stop beaming at him, and his shoulder still ached from where his dad had slapped him hard on the back in congratulations. The echoes of the stadium where he’d walked up in his robes to shake the dean’s hand still rung in his ears, as did his boyfriend’s whoops and cheers of delight, and the laughter of his brothers— _all_ of them, even Maglor had come home for the occasion!—in the restaurant where they’d gone to celebrate afterward.

He’d had an excellent time with his family, he truly had, and while Maglor and Caranthir were in town—not just for his graduation, but Junior’s too, from high school—he’d spend as much time with them as he could. And he was glad to introduce Fingon to them all, too, the ones who hadn’t met him in person yet. Fingon and Maglor got along better than he’d expected, and even Caranthir seemed in a good mood, at least enough to smile at Fingon’s jokes.

But right now, as Fingon chatted with Fëanor as he drove them back to their apartment, Maedhros couldn’t think about anything but the paper in his hands.

He’d _done_ it. Sure, it had taken him longer than average, but he’d _done_ it. He’d graduated: Maedhros Russandol Smith, Bachelor in Science, Biology Degree, Molecular and Cell Emphasis. And, like, he was going to grad school—med school, even, though he still wasn’t sure he actually wanted to be a doctor—so it wasn’t like he was _done_. But the University of Formenos had declared he was smart enough to move on, and the University of Himring had agreed to take it from there.

Fëanor’s minivan pulled to a stop outside their apartment complex, and Fingon hopped out right away. Maedhros opened the passenger door, but he hesitated before leaving to join his boyfriend.

Fëanor patted him on the shoulder, gentler this time. “I’m proud of you, son,” he said gruffly. “You’ve done a great thing. You’ll go far, I know it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Maedhros said, surprised how choked up he was getting. Fëanor was incredibly protective of his children, but selective in his praise. This meant a lot.

“I wish your mother could’ve been here, too,” Fëanor admitted, a little uncomfortable. “It’s...I regret the way things ended between us. Know that she loves you, though, and she’s proud too. That’s one thing we’ve always agreed on.”

“I know,” Maedhros agreed. He’d gotten a phone call from Nerdanel, and a lengthy letter in the mail. But Fëanor was right that he wished his mother had been there, too.

Fëanor looked over his shoulder. “Your boy’s very polite,” he said. “Hasn’t even cleared his throat, just out there waiting for you.”

Maedhros blushed, glancing over to where Fingon loitered outside their door. His boyfriend caught his look and waved, smiling, and Maedhros smiled back.

“He’s...great,” Maedhros said, a little bashfully. “I...really, really like him. I love him.”

“You take care of him, then,” Fëanor instructed, a twinkle in his eye. “I know he’s already got our last name, but I think he’s worth keeping around. If you know what I mean.”

“ _Dad_ ,” Maedhros grumbled, but he was still smiling. He thought the same thing.

He hesitated for a moment, then said quietly, “He’s still got another year here, but he says he’ll come with me to Himring anyway. That he won’t mind the commute.”

“If you’re asking if he’d say yes...” Fëanor trailed off.

“No, no,” Maedhros said quickly. It was still—a little soon. It had barely been more than a year since they started dating. “I mean. Not yet? But...someday. I think.”

“You’ve found a good one,” Fëanor said. “I mean it. And he’s found you, too—I knew the moment you came out to us that the road ahead of you wouldn’t be easy, but it’d be worth it. I’m sure the same thing goes for him. Be worth it, for each other.” A flicker of bitterness flashed across his face. “And be sure, too. It’s...probably best you wait a while longer. I don’t regret anything that led to you and your brothers being part of my life, but...”

“I will,” Maedhros promised. “Seriously. Thank you, Dad. I’m...it means a lot that you care so much. About me. About him, too.”

“Alright, well,” Fëanor chuckled, “give him my best. And have fun tonight, you hear me?”

“ _Dad!_ ”

But when Maedhros stepped out of the car, he was smiling, and he all but ran up the stairs to where Fingon still waited. Fingon kissed him, and Fëanor honked loudly in celebration as he drove away, making them both laugh.

“Thanks for waiting,” Maedhros said into Fingon’s mouth.

Fingon kissed him again, even as they stumbled through the door together. “Always,” he promised. “I know how much your dad’s approval means to you. And you deserve all the praise you can get. You _did_ it, Mae!”

“I did,” Maedhros said, but at last he tossed his diploma aside. “But that’s not what I want to think about right now.”

“Oh?” Fingon said breathlessly, gasping as Maedhros grabbed him by the ass and lifted him up, pressing him against the wall and mouthing at his neck.

“I want to think about _you_ ,” Maedhros growled, and Fingon laughed, tangling his hands in Maedhros’ hair.

“Baby, you’re always on my mind,” Fingon murmured. “What do you want from me? I’ll give you anything, Mae, I’m _so proud_ of you—”

Maedhros kissed him hard. They made out like that, against the wall, Maedhros’ arms wrapped around Fingon, for a few minutes, before Maedhros finally relented and carried his boyfriend to their bed.

“I just—I want you,” Maedhros whispered at last. “Any way I can have you. I love you, Finno.”

“Tonight’s about _you_ , baby,” Fingon said, stroking Maedhros’ cheek. “I love you too, so much. What do you want, my mouth? My hands? Or...” He cocked his head. “You still interested in something else?”

Maedhros throat closed up for a moment. It had been about a month since Fingon had pegged him for the first time, and they’d repeated that a few more times since, and they’d both liked it. But while they’d discussed the idea of Maedhros being on top, it hadn’t happened. Yet.

“What if I...” He bit his lip. “I want to try, I do, but if I can’t go through with it... Or if you—”

Fingon pulled him closer, until Maedhros was looming over him, his for the taking. “Then we stop. Or, if you’re worried about ruining the mood on your special day, we can do something else tonight, try a different time. I just thought, maybe, this could be a fun new present for you.”

Maedhros kissed him to banish his own fears. “You’re the best,” he mumbled. “Finno, I—I love you. I...” He remembered what he and his dad had talked about in the car. “Finno, I want to—to marry you, someday.” There. That was the first time he’d said it. But the way Fingon’s eyes lit up, the way his boyfriend tugged him down for another kiss, he knew it was the right moment.

“Mae, baby, Mae...” Finno crooned. “I want that too. Maybe—not yet, but Mae, I love you, I want you always, I wanna—” he choked up a little— “I wanna be your husband. Want you to be mine.”

“At least we don’t have to worry about who’ll take whose name,” Maedhros joked weakly, and Fingon laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

“In the meantime, though,” Fingon said, “do you want to fuck me?” He shivered with anticipation. “Because I do. I want it. I want you in me.”

“Yes,” Maedhros said, and just in agreeing he felt a little bit of his anxiety fizzle away. “How do you—where do you—”

Fingon wriggled out from under him, just enough to yank off his pants, and his boxers with them. “However you want,” he said softly, spreading his legs for Maedhros. “I mean it. Last time, when you fucked me with my dildo...I liked that, a lot. More than I had before. I think I’m ready, if you want to try my cunt. Or you can get the lube and take my ass, if you’d prefer.”

Maedhros wet his lips, his heart pounding, heat pooling between his legs. He fumbled with his belt and got rid of his own pants, even as Fingon slipped off his shirt and binder too.

He hadn’t...not since—but Maedhros pushed that thought aside. This was Fingon. This was his boyfriend, who loved him, and wanted him, wanted to _marry_ him someday, and it would be new for him too. He shook a little, but it was mostly in excitement. He couldn’t deny that he wanted this, too.

“Where did we put the condoms?” Maedhros asked, and Fingon grinned.

“In the back of the drawer, same place we keep the lube,” he answered. Maedhros nodded, taking a quick trip to the bathroom and digging around in the drawer as he listened to Fingon pulling back the sheets. He grabbed a condom, paused, then grabbed another one and the lube too, just in case. Those last he put on the nightstand by their bed, then stretched the condom over his cock.

It really had been a long time.

“Take your shirt off?” Fingon asked, reaching up. “I want to touch you, if that’s okay.”

It was more than okay; Maedhros suddenly thought he might die if Finno wasn’t touching him. He pulled the shirt off and tossed it to the floor, then crawled over his boyfriend, pressing their bodies close together.

Fingon was beautiful, brown skin lit up gold with the faint rays of the setting sun leaking through the blinds of their window. Maedhros just stared at him for a moment, mesmerized, and brushed a stray curl out of his face.

“Mae?” Fingon whispered.

Maedhros smiled, then kissed him gently. “Just looking at you,” he murmured. “Taking in how lovely you are. How lucky I am.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Fingon half-protested, reaching up to wind his arms around Maedhros’ neck. “C’mon, Mae...I want you...”

Maedhros kissed him again, nipping at his lip, then slipped a hand down to Fingon’s groin. Fingon’s breath hitched as their mouths met and Maedhros’ fingers played with his clit, and Maedhros felt his thighs twitch. Soon he gently pushed a finger inside of Fingon, marveling at the feel of him. He always did, loving the way Fingon tried to pull him in further, but now he took his time, anticipating and imagining how that would feel when it wasn’t his fingers.

A second finger joined the first, stretching his cunt, and Fingon moaned, bucking his hips lightly. “Mae, oh god, Mae,” he rasped, and Maedhros rewarded him with another finger. He was—well, Maedhros was bigger than average, and he knew Fingon appreciated that, but he wanted to make sure it would be good for Finno, too, even if tonight was supposedly about him.

“Mae, please,” Fingon begged, but he shook his head.

“Don’t wanna hurt you,” he said, and Fingon laughed a little, his own hands coming down to stroke Maedhros’ cock. Maedhros moaned himself, now, and he wanted, he _wanted_ , but he needed to be sure.

“I’m ready, please,” Fingon hissed. Maedhros hesitated, but after a bit more stretching, he decided—alright, he was ready.

Fingon was dripping, but still, Maedhros wanted to play it safe. He fumbled for the lube, only for Fingon to take it from him and slick up his cock himself.

“You’re too considerate,” he murmured. “What if I want it a little rough, hm?”

“Tonight’s for _me_ , you said,” Maedhros reminded him, and realized in the back of his mind he was procrastinating. “What if I want to tease you?”

Fingon sighed, falling back limply against his pillow. “It is for you,” he agreed. “Do whatever you want to me. Please.”

There was no use putting it off any longer. Maedhros took a deep breath, and kissed Fingon for courage, then positioned himself over Fingon’s entrance.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” Fingon confirmed. They were both trembling a little, he noticed. He hoped it was more from excitement than dread. “You?”

“...Ready,” Maedhros decided firmly. He wouldn’t let what happened hang over his head any longer. Not anymore. Not with Fingon here, loving him the right way. The way he—the way he deserved. He could even believe that, now.

“I love you,” Fingon whispered, and Maedhros pressed inside him.

It was—it was good. His body liked it, that wasn’t really what he’d been worried about, but still, that part was good. He pushed into Fingon’s cunt slowly, gasping at the way his walls tightened, the way Fingon rolled his hips to take him deeper. It was hot, and tight, and slick, and he slipped in faster than he anticipated just because it felt so nice.

For the briefest of moments Maedhros’ mind went blank, devoid even of terror—but then Fingon smiled up at him, and any tension melted away. Maedhros smiled back, his whole body warm with love, honored that Fingon trusted him like this, that Fingon wanted him like this. And—he realized he was pleased with himself, too, that he’d come this far. That he trusted Fingon, that he wanted Fingon.

He was proud of himself. He, Maedhros Russandol Smith, Bachelor of Science and everything, was _proud of himself._ And Fingon was too. And his dad. And his mom. And his brothers. Because he’d done what had taken him so long, he’d fucking _graduated_ —and now he’d graduated into fucking his boyfriend, too.

He laughed a little, hips flush with Fingon’s, and Fingon moaned as his movement sent tremors through him, too.

“Mae?” Finno rasped. “How is it?”

“Good,” he said thickly. “It’s—good. I like it.”

“I like it too.” Fingon leaned up for a kiss, soft and gentle and slow. “I think I’d like it more if you moved a bit, though.”

Maedhros kissed a trail from Fingon’s lips to his neck. “You gave me permission to tease you, remember?”

“Mae, _please_...”

He laughed again, rocking his hips just a little, delighting in the way it made Fingon gasp. “That’s good, too,” he whispered. “Hearing you beg.”

“Please, please, Mae, you’re so hot, you’re so good,” Fingon pleaded, and _damn_ he knew how to get Maedhros riled up. He never failed to take advantage of Maedhros’ praise kink, in and out of bed.

“Mae, you’re so big,” Fingon babbled, “want to feel you in me, fucking me right...please, Mae, no one else gets to do this, never, just you, you’re perfect, _please_ —”

Maedhros gave in, pulling out slowly. He paused, just to hear more of that sweet praise falling from his boyfriend’s lips, then thrust in quick, delighting in the way Fingon’s words trailed off into a long moan.

He liked this. He loved it. He loved _Fingon_.

“Gonna fuck you good, baby,” he growled at last, and did.

He did a damn good job of it, if the way Fingon cried out his name was any indication. Maedhros drank in his noises, swallowed them with his lips, teased out more with his thumb on Finno’s clit. When Fingon came he couldn’t help but cry out himself, fucking him through it, pushing him over again, until it was all too much and he was coming too. He buried himself deep inside of his boyfriend, clutching him tight, riding out his climax. Not even once did he think about anything other than Finno, his Finno, his love.

At last he came down from his high, and felt Fingon’s joyful tears wet on his shoulder. Slowly, Maedhros pulled out of him, growing uncomfortably aware of how sweaty and sticky they both were. Perhaps a shower was in order, he thought, removing the condom and tying it off before tossing it in the trash beside the nightstand.

Fingon looked up at him softly as he settled down beside him. Maedhros kissed him, their noses bumping briefly, and they both smiled.

“Good?” he asked.

“You’re always good, baby,” Fingon whispered. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of _you_ ,” Maedhros countered. He paused, then admitted, “And...I’m proud of me, too. For—this. All this.”

Maedhros thought he could melt away from the strength of Fingon’s adoring love, shining so clearly from his beautiful brown eyes. “Baby,” Fingon whispered. “Mae, I’m so happy. I want you to love yourself, and, and you are.”

“I guess I am.” Maedhros smiled. “It helps that the person I love the most in the world loves me as much as he does.”

“Oh, Maedhros,” Fingon said, and buried his face in his chest. “Always. Always, baby, I’ll always love you.”

Maedhros held him close, cradling him, and knew he could never let him go. Never. He used to be terrified that Fingon would see the truth of him and leave, but now...now...

Now he could see flashes of the truth of himself, in a different light, and he found that maybe Fingon was right. Maybe he was someone worth loving, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> In many ways, this is the calm before the storm.........next up is, at long last, The Reveal! First chapter of that fic will be posted tomorrow ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please comment if you enjoyed!  
> You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/).


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